Monday, May 11, 2015

Mothers Day snaps

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Some photos from Mothers Day with my family. While Mother's Day brunch buffet turned into Chinese lunch - since the line was uber long- my mom still got what she wanted: the whole family together including my aunt and her two son-in-lawsIt was good to catch up with my sister and Paul and see that my parents and aunt are doing well. Afterwards, we snagged some couches and chairs at the coffee, dessert, and wine lounge across the way, where I ordered at least four desserts, not including my caramel latte. I snapped some selfies with my dad- which amused him tremendously, by the way- and shared tiramisu, cappuccino rolls, fruit tart, and cheesecake with Jackie and Paul. Actually, I ate the fruit tart by myself, but no one else was reaching for it! It was so nice to be together on such a pretty day; I forgot that Monday was around the corner.

How did you spend your Sunday?

Saturday, May 9, 2015

I wish I had more time

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The other day my blog-friend-turned-real-life-friend Stephanie called me while I was in the middle of my workout at the gym. I wanted to answer the phone. But I was already off to a late start because I had stayed on the ship much longer than I planned on, and every workout and calorie counts now because I need to pass my fast-approaching weigh-in (something I wrote about here). I guess she had just read a post I wrote about my life being messy, and she wanted to let me know that if I needed someone to talk to, she would be that person. It was the sweetest gesture, and I knew I needed to let her know that I appreciated it and her friendship. We pretty much played phone tag after that. I got home, showered, fed the dogs, did the dishes, made my breakfast and lunch for the next day, and did a few other things to prepare for "work" (if you don't know by now, my "work" is the military) the next day. After all that, I was spent! Of course, I wanted some hangout time with Scott, but we both ended up falling asleep in bed trying to watch t.v. together. 

My point is, I have a window of about 4-5 hours to do what I need to do after I finally get home before I go to bed each day, and that window is jam-packed!

I wish I had more quality alone time with my husband.  I wish I had more time to connect with friends outside of seeing them in person. I wish I could afford to spend at least 6 hours in my car to visit my family every weekend in L.A. I wish I could take my dogs on longer walks and let them play for hours at the dog park. I wish I could do Project Life for an entire week straight: I'd be all caught up for this year! I wish I could finish reading one book a week. I wish I could finish writing that guest blog post I owe Jane. The only thing that I've been able to write is what's on my mind currently; the forced or planned writing just isn't happening. I wish I had the time to commit to more creative projects, becoming a better writer, and nourishing my small little online community.  I wish I could give my blog friends more attention because they support me, and I want them to know I am grateful for their support.

I wish I had more time to do everything I wanted to do. But then it wouldn't be a challenge anymore. Would it: if we had all the time and money in the world? 

So I guess I'm feeling remorseful about how little time I have for everyone else. I feel that it's justifiable though because most of my friends are married, have kids, have a significant other, or they live far away. Everyone is an adult with a life of their own, so they get pretty damn busy too. They understand! I understand! No problemo! 

The cold hard truth is that relationships need constant, quality attention, and I have to say that the older I've become, the more I have had relationships fade into the background simply because I just don't have time for them anymore. Horrible, but true. Every time I transfer to a new command, I have a new social circle, a new group of friends that I  bond with: we deploy together, we fail together, we succeed together, and we work and live on the ship together. We're family. We're friends. We're bonded for life no matter that years down the road when we're no longer in the Navy, we'll remember the ship and the people we served with.

I have a few friends, like my bffs, that I've known since 5th grade, and even we don't see each other frequently or get to talk that much. But like I said: they understand, I understand! It doesn't mean that it should be that way or that I don't want to make it better. But for now, while I'm in the military, it's a constant struggle to be as attentive and present as I would like to be. 

Does that sound like a cop-out? Maybe it is. I truly feel that I am doing as much as I can handle right now without driving myself insane. I suppose that's good enough for now.

*(Time to write this blog post= no more than 10 minutes. Time to edit/review it= no more than 2 minutes. Number of times I closed my eyes while writing this post= 10x?)*